


Secretive

by Eydol



Category: IDOLiSH7 (Video Game)
Genre: Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-14
Updated: 2016-08-14
Packaged: 2018-08-08 18:24:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,906
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7768396
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eydol/pseuds/Eydol
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There was a reason for Banri being secretive about his girlfriends.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Secretive

**Author's Note:**

> \- Thanks to Fjeril for the correction! ♥  
> \- A little Momo / Banri because yeah, I ship them too~  
> \- I didn't know which title to use so I used this one (the unimportant note XD)  
> \- Enjoy ♥

            You didn’t expect something like that. When you stood on stage, singing and playing the guitar with your partner, you didn’t expect to meet his eyes. Yet, you did and it had been strange. He was the only boy in the audience, always there with some women. You didn’t understand why but it made you happy to always see him at your concert. He looked like a middle schooler but if your songs could reach even younger people, then you were happy.

            Concerts went and left, and the boy too. You soon learnt he actually was a high school soccer player and you started calling him Captain. Funny enough, his nicknames changed again and again the more you learnt about him. Then, there had been this fateful day, the Bloody Eve, where you finally learnt his name and exchanged mail addresses with him.

 _Momo._ It was strange on your tongue, but at the same time, it was sweet and soft, as if his name had always been meant to be pronounced by you. And, little by little, you started to know him, to love his way of speaking, his way of acting, his way of smiling. Oh, his smile, you loved it so much! Always bright, always happy. His eyes were filled with joy and yours with love.

            Because you fell in love. It hit you like a tsunami one day, in your bathroom, in front of the mirror. You were brushing your teeth when you suddenly thought “ _I love Momo-kun._ ” It came from nowhere and you got confused as the sentence kept repeating itself in your mind.

_I love Momo-kun._

_I love Momo-kun._

_I love Momo-kun._

            Yes, you loved Momo and you felt ridiculous there, watching at your own reflection, your toothbrush inside your mouth, with a toothpaste moustache, blushing, as you finally understood your true feelings. After the ridiculous feeling came the happy one. You were able to put a word on all these feelings you had for the younger boy, also you knew why you liked when he was happy, or why you were sad when he also was.

            And after the happy feeling came the sorrow. You loved Momo, it was a fact; a true one, something you had to get accustomed to (and you knew it would be easy); but you knew Momo didn’t love you back. Not in that way, at least. Momo’s eyes always avoided yours. They were always locked on Yuki. You know there was no chance for you, because Yuki had taken over Momo’s heart. And it hurt you, but if Momo was happy, then, you would be happy for him too.

            So days passed. You hid your feelings, you stopped yourself from doing things you would regret: messing his soft hair, hugging him from behind, brushing his fingers… It was a tad difficult, but you did your best. It hurt a lot but it was better for you, for him. That’s what you thought.

            And one day, it happened. It came from nowhere, once again.

“Ban-san, do you have a problem with me?”

“Huh? No, why?”

“So, why do you avoid me? Did I do something wrong?”

“You didn’t.”

            Momo didn’t do something wrong. You were the one who fell in love with him, you were the one who have done something wrong. Sure, it wasn’t normal to fall in love with a man, right? That’s what society tell. You didn’t care about society, but you knew that other did.

“Ban-san, please, tell me! Explain me. I… don’t understand.”

            Momo seemed helpless, sad, lost, and you felt bad for that.

“You’ll hate me.”

“I won’t.”

            You knew. Momo couldn’t hate. Hate was an unknown feeling for Momo. So, you gathered your courage. You knew it was a bad idea but you did it.

“I love you.”

            It was only a whisper but Momo heard it. You could see it on his face.

“You… What?”

“I love you.”

“Ban-san…”

“I’m sorry.”

            You bowed and you turned your back. You were tearing. You felt bad. You just destroyed your friendship with the man you loved. You should have found an excuse and apologized, that was all. But no. You confessed. You were an idiot.

“Ban-san, wait!”

            You felt a weight on your back and two hands grabbed yours. Momo hugged you from behind. It was painful. It really was painful.

“I love you too, Ban-san! Don’t abandon me…”

            You froze. You froze because you didn’t expect this answer. You thought it was a dream, a wonderful but painful one. You thought you would wake up soon and discover that it was a lie.

“You… love me…?” You repeated, uncertain.

“Yes. I love you, Ban-san!”

            When you turned towards him and saw his beautiful smile, you knew it was true. Such a smile couldn’t be a lie. And you were so happy! You were so happy that you took Momo in an embrace, almost suffocating him. That’s when Momo tried to push you away that you noticed what you were doing and you apologized. Momo only laughed and hugged you once again.

            And then, you kissed for the first time. It was hesitant and lacked of experience, but it also was soft and full of love, and the two of you wished for that not to stop. When you broke the kiss, you chuckled and Momo followed you. It was magic. It could only be magic.

            So, you started going out together.

“You’re so secretive about your girlfriends, Ban! Tell me about them!”

You didn’t tell Yuki. You were afraid of his reaction and, it also was new to both you and Momo. You preferred to wait a little bit before telling him, just the time for you to be at ease with this new relation. The first time you said you couldn’t go for a ride with Yuki because you were meeting some girls, Momo sulked.

“I’m not some girls!”

            You laughed. It was always fun to annoy Momo. Your cute and beloved Momo. For months, you learnt a lot about him: the breakfast he took, what he liked, what he disliked. He could sing too and, sometimes, you went to the karaoke with Yuki. When there were duos, you let them sing and you couldn’t help but think that their voice got along very well. You almost were jealous, but every time you reminded yourself that you could hear another range of Momo’s voice.

            Because you also learnt that your bodies were matching, that your name in Momo’s mouth was beautiful, and soft, and lovely. His skin was soft, with some scars visible on the flesh; _‘battle wounds’_ he had said, explaining he had done a lot of sports, and not only soccer. Everything about Momo was soft and lovely, and you were glad he was yours.

            But Fate was mischievous and soon, Momo and you were separated, because of a man with a stupid goal (that’s what you thought), and because of a spotlight that fell towards Yuki. You hadn’t thought twice and jumped towards your partner, protecting him, taking the blow for him. You were sent at the hospital. You refused Kujou’s offer, stayed at the hospital for a long time and finally, you left.

            You left Yuki, you left Re:vale. You left Momo. With only a little note, telling Yuki to keep singing the way he wanted. It was better like that, you thought. You were sad about Momo, you knew you would break his heart, but you did it. You couldn’t continue. It was better for Yuki. As for Momo… You didn’t want to think about it. You felt guilty. Very guilty.

            You finally found a work, or rather, the work finally found you, one day, while you were wandering in town. You met this man who smiled to you and gave you a hand. Now, you worked for him. It had been five years, and you’re watching seven young boys, and their young manager, trying to rise in the Idols’ world. You liked them. You liked them, but not as much as the top idols.

            Re:vale. The group still existed. Now, it was Yuki and Momo. At first, you had been surprised but then, it made senses. Momo’s and Yuki’s voice matched perfectly, after all. And, even if it hurt you, even if you were jealous of Yuki because he could be near Momo, you were happy to see them together, singing. Sometimes, you looked at their pictures and you whispered:

“Momo, are you happy? Did you replace me with Yuki?”

            It was his right, you knew it. You shouldn’t be complaining about that when you had left five years ago. And yet, you couldn’t help but want to be near Momo. To take him in your arms. To kiss him. To whisper him how much you love him. And you couldn’t, you couldn’t because of your choices.

            But once again, Fate was mischievous. You met Momo and Yuki after five years of split. Your eyes met Yuki’s one; dear Yuki was happy to see you once again. You avoided Momo’s. You weren’t ready to see his anger and his sadness. You cheered them up as much as you could, and their concert, as always, was a huge success. After that, there was a party at your boss’ production.

You were able to talk with Yuki and Momo, but again you avoided your former lover’s eyes. He noticed, of course, why wouldn’t he? So, when you went to the kitchen to get a new soda bottle, he came with you.

“Why are you avoiding me?”

            You didn’t answer. _‘I’m avoiding you because I still love you but don’t deserve you.’_ You wanted to say.

“Ban-san…! Are you angry against me?”

“No, of course not.”

            Why would you be angry against him? You couldn’t be angry against him. ~~?~~

“So, why? You… You don’t love me anymore…? I guessed when you left five years ago but…”

“No!” You answered abruptly. “I still love you. I just… I don’t deserve your love. I left without a word, didn’t even try to contact you no matter what… I wanted to! I wanted it so much, but…”

“Ban.”

            Momo’s voice was so soft, like when you shared a bed years ago. It reminded you good memories. Memories that always were there, deep into your mind, coming and leaving times to times.

“I love you.”

            You blinked. Once. Twice. Once again, it seemed like a dream, and you smiled. You still wanted to cry. You came closer to Momo and took his hands.

“I love you too, Momo-kun.”

“Don’t ever leave again.”

“I promise.”

            Momo smiled and you kissed for the first time in five years. It was still soft, and hesitant, and lovely. You missed Momo’s lips taste and you were glad to finally taste it again. You knew it wouldn’t stop, this time.

“Maybe we should tell Yuki.” Momo said.

“Yeah, tell me. I would like to know.”

            Both of you startled and turned towards Yuki who had entered the kitchen without warning and spotted you in a more than friendly embrace.

“Since when?” Yuki asked, and he didn’t seem angry.

            Surprised, sure, but not angry.

“It started five years ago.” Momo answered happily.

“That’s why you were _so secretive_ about your girlfriends!” Yuki exclaimed, pointing his finger towards you.

            And you laughed. You laughed because maybe Fate wasn’t a bad guy, after all.


End file.
